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2006-03-02 -- 10:27 p.m.

where's my heart? i can't really feel it there anymore. what replaces that space is nothing but empty space.

numb? maybe. or maybe its just dead. but once in awhile it suddenly falls back into place and beats for a moment.

but i know there's no such thing as a time machine. even if there were and i were to turn it back, things might have taken a different course. things would never be the same again. maybe i had too much in my hands, so it was fated that i had to let something go. i guess what i enjoyed, once gone, would never return again. to me it feels like a sin to have had all those good times n good things, so maybe that's why i have to lose them all.

is it fair? but i figured it's not a matter of it being fair or unfair anymore. maybe u dont miss the water till the well runs dry. but that doesnt seem that true. u miss the water even before the well runs dry. but it still runs dry anyway..